A Queen For All: A Love For Some
by cdunbar25
Summary: When Lissa became queen, it seemed that the adventures for Rose and Dimitri had come to an end. But when the darkness of spirit begins to consume Lissa, Rose must do whatever it takes to save her. But even with those efforts: their biggest challenge is waiting for them. Nothing has prepared them for what's in store. What can save them when their all willing to lose everything?
1. Chapter 1

(note: I do not own the rights to these characters. I am picking up where the last book in the vampire academy series left off in Last Sacrifice. I do own the content to this creative writing as it is an original story of mine but the characters from Vampire Academy are used! Rated K+ due to adult content. Thanks for reading!)

I thought that it was all over. I believed that when Lissa became queen that things would finally end, and we could lead as normal lives as we could in our society. However, I soon realized that things were only just beginning…

Chapter 1

Rose

It smells like wood and metal. I hear the sounds of metal tearing and bending into itself. The noise is deafening. Bright lights flash before my eyes and then everything goes black. The smell of blood pierces my nose and takes over all of my senses. I feel my body go from being warm to suddenly becoming extremely cold. My body stays still as if stuck in shock over what had just happened. I try to breathe but no breath comes. I feel myself begin to suffocate as I try desperately to get in air, but to no success. The blackness becomes darker as I can feel myself slipping away. I feel a hand touch mine and a warm sensation course through my body.

"Rose, Rose! Roza! Please wake up!" Dimitri said shaking me as I could hear my screams. He shakes my shoulders trying to get me to snap out of this nightmare. "Roza, my precious Roza. It's okay. I'm here," he says as he pulls me into his arms as tears fall down my face and I hear a whimper escape me.

He strokes my hair as he holds me tightly to his chest whispering "Roza, Roza," over and over again. I slowly feel myself begin to relax in his arms and we sit like this for what feels like an eternity. Once I calmed down, I pulled away from him slightly to look him in the eyes. Those brown eyes I love so much seemed to be looking into my soul at that very moment. Worry, concern and love radiated from those eyes and he stared back at me. He could see the pain that was in my heart and I knew that I couldn't hide the truth of what just happened from him anymore.

"What happened?" he asked as he stroked my cheek gently.

"I had a really bad nightmare. It was like the nightmares Lissa used to get about the car accident we were in but this time it was me. I could remember what it was like that night. The sound of the metal, the smell of blood, the suffocation from not being able to breathe. I felt myself dying. I am so used to Lissa having this nightmare and this is the first time I've ever had one from my perspective and actually feeling the accident. I guess for the longest time I just never remembered and now it's hitting me. I hate not having any control over this. It didn't used to be like this, but after the last two years of what we've gone through I guess all the things in my past that I just shoved deep down inside are finally coming to the surface. It's terrifying. It's like the darkness from spirit that I used to pull from Lissa. I wonder if the darkness is still in me and that's what's causing all of this to come to the surface," I said my voice trembling more and more as I spoke.

"Rose, you are one of the strongest person I know. Even though you are young, you have handled all of these challenges better than people twice your age could. I know you have things weighing on your chest from your past, but we will get through this," he said followed up by a deep kiss.

We kissed deeply and grabbed unto each other as we pulled ourselves closer to each other. The warmth of his body enveloped me as he laid me down on my back and ran his hands down my shoulders. My back arched as he pressed his hips against mine. I could feel him in every part of my body. I felt like I was being struck by lightning, my entire body alive and sensitive to his every touch that sent shivers throughout my entire body. We continued to kiss deeply as he pulled of my underwear and took off my bra. He pulled back looking at me as I lay there completely naked staring into his eyes. All I saw was his love for me. That deep love that spoke to me that he will never leave my side no matter what. I reached out and caressed his face as my other hand pulled off his shirt. He smirked and pulled off his shirt and kicked off his boxers. He hovered over me as we both laid there naked before each other. He pressed against me one more time, his erect cock sliding up and down my pussy. I moaned quietly as he slowly pushed himself inside my body reacting by arching my back and digging my ass into the bed. He wrapped his arm around my lower back as he laid on top of me but supported his weight with his other arm. He pressed deeper and deeper into me causing me to moan louder and louder. He sucks on my nipples as he begins to go faster and faster. As we laid there and made love and as we did, I felt our souls connecting and becoming one. He continuously whispered, "Roza, my own beautiful rose." I grabbed his shoulder and nudged him to lay on his back. He smiled that beautiful smile that I cherish so much as I climbed on top of him. I felt him slide into me as I moaned loudly. He reached up and cupped my breasts in his hands as I began to move my hips and use my legs to start moving up and down. I've learned that even though I have ridiculous strength, I can still use some work on my flexibility in these sexual positions. He closed his eyes and moaned as I moved my hips more and that caused him to go deeper and deeper inside of me. I could feel the pressure in my pelvis, but it felt like heaven to me. I tilted my head back and moaned along with him as he lifted up his hips to meet mine and to pound into me as I bounced up and down. He gripped harder unto my breasts but with the tips of his fingers he gently played with my nipples. Every part of me was on fire and I didn't want this to ever end. I almost screamed as my body convulsed as I felt myself cum. He arched his back and let out an equally as loud moan as he came along with me. I could feel his cum ejecting inside of me.

I collapsed on top of him and put my head on his chest as I breathed heavily. He wrapped his arms around me holding me close to him. We laid like that for a while before he gently lifted me up and carried me over to the shower. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my head against his chest, exhaustion beginning to overwhelm me. He sat me down in the shower and turned it on. The warm water covered me, and I felt myself loosen up as the warmth seeped down to my bones. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the shower wall as Dimitri sat down next to me. He rubbed my arms, messaging them as he moved up and down slowly and gently. I leaned back so I could lay into him and he wrapped him arms and legs around me. Kissing me on my neck, he put soap between his hands and started rubbing my entire body with the soap. Ever so gently he went over every crevice of my body, messaging the soap into me and loosening up my muscles at the same time. He continued to kiss up and down my neck as I leaned my head into his shoulder and let out soft little moans. He continued this until he covered my entire body with soap and every part of me messaged to his satisfaction. I turned to him and placed soap in my hands as I began to message the soap into his body as well. I went over every part of his body feeling each and every single hard muscle he had. When I got to his abs, I leaned over and kissed up and down his stomach as I messaged and rubbed the soap into him at the same time. I felt him tense up as a moan escaped him and I heard him whisper, "Roza." I smiled as he became erect again. I opened my mouth and began sucking on the tip of his cock. I felt him arch his back as a moan escaped his lips and his hand gently caressing the back of my head. I looked up and saw his hair had fallen out of his ponytail and pure pleasure was played on his face. I took him deeper in my throat and slightly gagged over the sheer length of him. I pulled him in as deep as I could go and yet there was quite a bit left to him that I couldn't fit into my mouth. I went up and down sucking him tightly as I did. I could tell the slowness was agonizing to him, but I enjoyed the taste of him in my mouth. Up and down I went as I felt him tense up more and more. When I went down as deep as I could go, I heard him let out a loud moan followed by cum shooting into my mouth. My eyes closed as I swallowed his delicious cum. I pulled my head up and smirked at him. He returned my smirk and kissed me deeply again.

I pulled away and laughed saying, "You know we can't keep doing this all day right? As much as I would love too, we do have to get to our duties. Them first remember?"

He laughed that deep care free laugh and said, "You're right but I could honestly stay here all day."

Thankfully we had one of those rain shower heads that perfectly poured down water on top of us no matter where we were sitting or standing in the shower. One of the perks of having the queen of the moroi as your best friend. Even though I've fought what feels like hundreds of strigoi, having sex with Dimitri seem to take the most of my strength and left me completely exhausted after some of our love making. We showered the soap off of us and walked out of the shower. As we put our clothes on, we kept stopping to kiss each other and jokingly smacking each other or trying to knock the other over. It reminded me of when we first had sex at that cabin in the woods at St. Vladimirs.

Once we were dressed, we walked out of our room holding hands and started heading toward Lissa's and Christian's room. We joked with each other on the way as we approached the door to their room in the royal 'palace' at court. By palace I mean a giant section of court dedicated to the queen. Dimitri and I had one of the largest dhampir suits thanks to our lovely friend the queen herself. As I began turning the nob to enter the lobby of the palace, I heard a scream from Lissa. I immediately bolted inside, Dimitri following close behind me and the other royal guardians who were inside, running straight to where I heard Lissa screaming. I found her inside of her room on the ground screaming, rocking side to side and clutching her head as if she were in pain.

I kneeled down and held her in my arms saying, "Its okay Liss, I'm here it's okay."

I heard her whimper as she turned her head into my shoulder and began to sob heavily. The other guardians circled around us and waited until Lissa calmed down enough to talk to us.

"Your majesty, what happened?" Dimitri asked worry lanced in his voice.

Lissa wiped the tears from her eyes and leaned away from me to look Dimitri in the eye. He knelt down in front of her as she said, "It's the spirit. The spirit madness just hit me all of a sudden. I just…. I just became really overwhelmed by it all and it felt like my mind was falling apart. I didn't realize I was screaming until I heard your voice Rose," she looked me dead in the eye as tears began falling down her face again.

I wiped the tears from her cheeks as Christian walked in. He was shocked by the way we were positioned and when he saw Lissa he immediately kneeled beside her. He took her hands in his and kissed them gently. I stood up and backed up so he could take over. I could hear him mumbling calming things to Lissa as I casted a worried look at Dimitri. He mirrored my worried expression and then we both turned our gaze over to Lissa. She stayed like that for a while and I realize today we've both been haunted by nightmares.

Dimitri

The day after Lissa's episode, Rose and I stayed very close to her and Christians side. My main concern was Vasilisa's mental health after knowing the true dangers of spirit. I will never forget the day Rose took the darkness away from Vasilisa and what it did to her. I remember running up to the scene watching Rose punch Jessie Zeklos repeatedly in the face. I remember dragging her to the cabin and all the effort she made to escape to demolish Jessie. It pained my heart to see her so out of control. Rose, the strong independent Rose that I have to love, was so unstable and broken. When we got to the cabin, she looked like a wild animal who was trying to break out of a cage. Her hair was all across her face and she was thrashing side to side as the anger consumed her. She kept begging to have me let her go so she could go after Jessie. Seeing her like this broke my heart and I couldn't stand to see her like this for a moment longer. I grabbed her shoulders and shook her saying, "This isn't you! This isn't you!" It looked like my words had reached her and I began to see the madness leave her. Her body to begin to shake uncontrollably as the madness left her. I let go of holding her arms behind her back and instead brought her close into my arms.

I will never forget that day and looking at Vasilisa now I can understand the concern on Rose's face. Her brows were scrunched together, and she was slightly biting her bottom lip. She stood back away from Vasilisa as Christian kneeled down to be in front of Vasilisa. I could hear him saying things to calm her down and I watched the madness of spirit slowly leave her. Rose stayed as close to her as she could while also giving the other guardians space to also stand close to Vasilisa and keep a watchful eye on her. Christian helped her stand to her feet and said casually that he was going to take her on a walk to help her calm down more. The other guardians and I followed them outside of the room and walked into the warmness of the autumn day.

For the moroi, technically it was nighttime but to the rest of the world it was the middle of the afternoon. We walked around the garden keeping enough distance to where Vasilisa and Christian could have some space but just enough to also keep us close. Two royal guardians walked off to the front sides of them while Rose and I took the rear. Both of us were focused on the two of them but every now and again I looked at Rose from the corner of my eye. She tried to keep her face expressionless but every now and again I can see her lost in deep thought. Keeping my eyes on both Christian and Rose was challenging but it's something I've become used too. We continued to walk around court as we exited the garden and walked on the walkways around court.

"Do you think that maybe there is a way that I can become shadow kissed again?" Rose asked suddenly.

I gazed at her in astonishment and did my best to hide the fear from appearing on my face. Her face was completely serious, her gaze looking down at the ground, some of the hairs from her bun had been pulled out from the wind, her hands in fists by her side, her brows pushed together and her jaw tense from clenching her teeth.

"I don't know if you can and I hope that you don't Roza. I will never forget what caused us to end up in the cabin. I will never forget seeing you in that state of helplessness as you lost control because of the darkness you absorbed from Vasilisa. I know that they come first however I can't stand to see you like that. You don't know what it was like to see such a strong woman like you to fall apart like that," I said as I tried to hide the pain in my voice.

"I understand that but seeing her like that, I just hate myself for not being able to take that away from her. How can I protect her if I can't even help her when she's falling apart? She's the queen damn it and it's my job to help her succeed. I can't do that if I can't even take the darkness away from her. I know she is strong but the more she uses spirit the worse it gets. There has to be a way to where I can take the darkness from her again. There just has to," she said with exasperation in her voice.

I frowned and thought deeply about her words. Rose loves Vasilisa just as much as she loves me. I know that if Rose were having an episode like Vasilisa had, I would be saying the same exact thing. This is one of the many reasons I fell in love with her. Her heart for others is like no one I have ever met. Her love for her friends is so tried and true that no one can second guess how much she loves them.

"I don't think there is a way for you to become shadow kissed again Rose. The only reason you were before is because Vasilisa brought you back from the dead. Remember how you lost the bond? You were shot and fought for your life on your own. That is what severed your bond to Vasilisa. If you were to ever have a chance at getting the bond back, it would require you dying again. You barely survived when you were shot in the chest and almost losing you like that killed me. I felt helpless and promised myself that if you were to live that I would do everything in my power to protect you and your life. I know you want to help Vasilisa but there has to be another way than you becoming shadow kissed." I said.

"Last time I checked comrade my life is up to me. I am Lissa's guardian. It's my job to keep her safe and to make sure she's alright. You should know since I got shot for her that I am willing to die to help and protect her. I am willing to do whatever it takes, regardless of what happens to me, in order to be a better guardian for her. I love you Dimka I really do, and you hold a place in my heart no one will replace. But if you think I'm going to put myself before Lissa then maybe you don't know me at all," she said angrily as she walked away to switch positions with the other guardian.

Helen came and replaced Rose sighing, "That girl sure is a hot head. I'm surprised you of all people fell for her. She's young and arrogant and full of temper. But she's one of the best guardians I've ever met. I couldn't have imagined a better guardian for her majesty," she said.

Helen was my age and was one of the top students when she graduated the academy. Her fighting skills are on par to Rose's and she is one of the wisest women I've met. She's known for her strigoi kills and for surviving even the most brutal battles. There was one incident where she was the only guardian who made it out alive of a strigoi attack. After St. Vladimir's was attacked, strigoi went around in bands attacking different royals in order to bring them close to extinction. She was guarding, funny enough, a branch of the Ozera family. They came under attack as the family was leaving a fancy dinner. The only two who made it out alive were Helen and the Ozera she was protecting: the young daughter of the family. Though they walked away alive, Helen still holds regrets knowing that the little girl is now an orphan and there wasn't anything Helen could do about it.

Even though she was my age, she looked no more than eighteen. She had deep auburn hair and freckles on her face with bright blue eyes that looked grey in the sunlight. She had one of those wide smiles that lit up a room and a laugh that traveled throughout the room. She had an x scar on her neck. I don't know how she got it, but it was definitely something that she doesn't want to talk about. That I know for sure.

"I know you love her Dimitri. I just wish sometimes she would take your feelings more into consideration. The world does not revolve around Rosemarie Hathaway as much as she would like it too. She can't expect you to be okay with every decision she makes and to go with her flow. You each have your own world and lives that you go through. I know she was there for you when you turned back into a dhampir and she was the main source of helping you fight it but at the same time I feel like she could give you more. I know it's not my place to say anything about your relationship but you're my friend Dimitri, and I can't stand to see you being treated unfairly," she said. Care and love were laced in her voice.

I smiled a small smile to myself and said, "You're right; Rose lives in her own world. But it would be wrong to think that she doesn't care deeply about the people in her life. She would die for any of the people she loves and she's proven it over and over again. When her friend Mason was murdered in front of her by strigoi, she changed forever. I know you know what it's like to see the people you love lying there dead because of a strigoi and feeling the guilt of not being able to do anything about it. It changes you for the rest of your life. That's what happened to Rose. I wasn't there when Mason died. I wasn't myself when she killed strigoi after strigoi in her search to find me in order to keep a promise that we made. I treated her like she was a piece of meat, a toy to play with, when I was a strigoi. I didn't go through that; she did. She went through being framed for a murder and being on the run. She went through killing a man who couldn't even defend himself and the guilt that went with her arch enemy dying by her hand when he was defenseless. Rose might live in her own world sometimes but for the last two years she's done nothing but think of what's best for others and she still does. In our relationship sure, she has some room to grow but so do I. There have been countless times where I've seen Rose have nightmares from the things she's gone through and some of those things I put her through. I can be more understanding to why she is the way she is. I can continue being a mentor in her life and guiding her when she has no idea what path to turn down. I will never be able to take away her pain but I can do my best to try and help her navigate through that pain when she lets me."

Helen laughed and said, "If she lets you that is."

I laughed in return and said, "You're right. Hopefully she lets me."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Rose

After the fight Dimitri and I had, I spent the rest of the night focusing on Lissa and my thoughts about how I can become shadow kissed again. I pondered over and over again ways that wouldn't require me dying but nothing came to mind.

Lissa, noticing that I was lost in deep thought, asked, "What's on your mind Rose? You look like you're coming up with one of your crazy plans again."

"Why does everyone always think I have some type of crazy plan going on in my head? Do you guys think I'm some mastermind in some hero/villain novel? Cause if that's the case I am definitely the hero," I said with triumph.

"Or we could just say you were thinking of having me light someone on fire like the good ol' days," Christian said flashing one of those wicked smiles and arching his eyebrow. Seriously, what is it and people being able to do this?

I shot him a wicked glare and said, "Can we all agree that I've already got myself into enough trouble over the last two years? I don't need anymore reasons for people to tarnish my beautiful reputation. After all, who doesn't love themselves some Rose Hathaway?"

"You're right Rose. How dare we think that you could be some mastermind of, oh I don't know, coming up with a hunting party, an escape plan, breaking out of prison, going on the run after said breakout, finding my long lost sister and taking a certain princess away from society? Who would've ever done that?" Lissa said chuckling all the way through.

"Yeah yeah yeah let's just have a roast Rose party. Hey Dimitri!" I exclaimed. "Lissa and Christian are having a roasting party about the one and only Rose Hathaway. Care to join in the festivities?" I asked.

I watched as he shook his head with a smile on his face and sigh. "Someone has to keep up the rear to protect Christian and her majesty. Not all of us can relax and have fun while on guard Rose," he said with a touch of annoyance in his voice.

Just when I thought we were done arguing for the day, this argument looks like it doesn't want to die at all. I turned around to face Lissa and walked off to the side to resume my position in our guardian circle. Lissa's face turned from happy to feeling guilt over me getting scolded by Dimitri. I walked in silence then, keeping a lookout on my side for any signs of a threat while also letting my mind wander to thinking about becoming shadow kissed.

I know Dimitri loves me but right now, I feel like he wouldn't be happier than to watch me disappear. It gets real annoying really quickly when he talks down to me like I am a child. Sure, I'm younger than him but just when I keep thinking we're looking at each other as equals, he goes all teacher mode on me and talks to me like we're back in the gym at the academy all over again. I thought we were past this but I guess we aren't.

We kept walking around court until Lissa was fully calmed down and back to herself. I took two hours before she got to this point. When this first happened it took fifteen minutes. But as time goes on, it's becoming harder and harder for her to come out of these meltdowns that are caused by spirit. I've tried to convince Lissa to stop using spirit but her argument is always this, "Rose, I get that you're worried and you have every right to be but I am the queen now. I have to help my people as much as I can, no matter the cost to me. We've had more and more moroi getting sick or injured as the strigoi are making braver attacks against them. Court doesn't even feel safe sometimes. I had to put me going to college on hold so I can do my duties as queen. I know it's a lot but if I can sacrifice a little bit of myself to further help my people, then I'm going to do it." That's been her argument every time I bring it up and every time I have nothing to say back to her. That's why I am so determined to become shadow kissed again. If Lissa is willing to sacrifice a piece of herself then so am I. I took a bullet for her, I sure as hell will become shadow kissed again for her. The question now though is: how can I do it?

Dimitri

Once we returned back inside to where Vasilisa's quarters are, the other guardians told Rose and I that we could go and that they have everything taken care of. Christian promised to stay by Vasilisa's side and my partner, Nathan, was there to watch over Christian. Satisfied with the coverage, I followed Rose out of the door. She walked ahead of me clearly angry with the way she was walking. When she's angry, her entire body becomes tense and stuck in one position. When she is calm her hips sway side to side and there is nothing but confidence in the way she walks. Now, she's so tense she looks like a pencil. I follow close behind her and observe her every step. She abruptly comes to a stop in front of me and I barely avoid running into her. Her facial expression shocked me out of words. There were tears in her eyes, her face flushed red from anger, her jaw clenched and her teeth showing from basically snarling at me.

"I thought you understood me more than anyone! We were supposed to partners; equals. And yet when we were in there you treated me like you did back at the academy! Every time I finally feel like we are being regarded as equals you turn around and treat me like we're not! I want to know that you think of me as your equal but you never have, have you? You know what I thought about today while walking next to Lissa? I thought about how you would probably be grateful if I just keeled over right now. It's true isn't it? All this time you saying you love me, has it ever been true love? I love you with every fiber of my being Dimitri. But I don't know if you feel the same deep love that I do." She turned her back to me and ran as if she were running away from a strigoi.

I stood there watching her run away wishing she would turn around and look at me. I want her to see the tears falling down my face and see how much I truly do love her.

Rose

I ran as fast I could. I refused to look back at him because if I did, he would see the tears rolling down my face. I reached my room and slammed the door shut behind me. My breathing heavy as my heart raced in my chest. I sank to the ground and started sobbing in my hands. I don't know if anyone could hear me sob and honestly at this point I didn't care. All I could feel was the sadness enveloping me. I hate this. This isn't me. Rose Hathaway does not get depressed but right now, I felt the same sadness that had lead Lissa to cut herself. I still don't understand how cutting yourself could release this but I understand her desperation for it to end now. All I want is for the crying to stop, for the pain in my chest to stop, for the feeling of my heart breaking to stop, for my entire body shaking to stop. But it wasn't stopping. I sat there for what felt like an eternity and slowly I started to unravel. My mind started going in the places it went when I took the anger from Lissa and beat the living daylights out of Jesse. But instead of anger it was pure sadness. All I could think about was making it stop. I just wanted it all to stop. I tried to tell him that death had been on my mind since I woke up this morning. That for the past few months I keep having dreams of death and me dying. Maybe it's the world of the dead trying to come and claim me at last.

I lowered my guard to the ghosts around me and a migraine immediately hit me. Ghosts from all ages and sizes appeared before me, there mouths open and hands reaching out to me per the usual. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on one ghost that I haven't seen in a very long time.

"Mason, I need you. Please come out Mason." I kept saying this quietly until I felt a warm sensation all over my body, I opened my eyes to see Mason standing before me with a sad look in his eyes. He was so barely materialized before me that I knew if I blinked he would disappear.

"If…..if I went back to the land of the dead, do you think they would let me get away a third time? Do you think there is any chance that I could be brought back?"

Mason just stood there in front of me staring with the saddest eyes. Very slightly he shook his head no and disappeared into thin air. I put my walls back up and thought about the encounter I just had with Mason. I was never one to think about suicide but what better what for Lissa to bring me back than this? If I took my life, she could bring me back and I'll become shadow kissed to her again. I don't want to die. I need to help Lissa and be the best guardian I could be for her, even if it meant risking my life to do it.

I stood up and reached into the holster on my belt and pulled out my stake. I held it in my hands gingerly as I contemplated if what I was about to do was really worth it. I decided it was, and I dug the stake right through my chest and into my heart. I felt immense amount of pain, then the sensation of collapsing. As I hit the ground everything went black and all I could hear was a knock at the door and someone saying my name, "Rose…Rose…."then I was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Dimitri

I knocked on the door to our room and said Rose's name over and over again. When silence responded to me, I began to worry. As I knocked again I heard a thump that sounded like someone collapsing. I took out my key and turned the lock. When I opened the door I heard a scream and I'm not really sure where it came from. I found out soon that the scream was coming from me. There she was lying on the floor at an awkward angle with a stake piercing her heart. I ran over to her and held her in my arms.

"Roza, Roza. Say something. Say anything please. This can't be real, it just can't be," I said with tears running down my face. I broke out into a sob as I leaned my head into her chest. I held unto her as tight as I could and I refused to let her go. I heard someone running into the room and say my name but I didn't care. All I cared about was Rose. I had to protect Rose. The person left and soon more people came into room and then I heard another scream. This time it was coming from Vasilisa. I lifted up my head and watched as she sprinted next to Rose's side. She grabbed her hands and started shouting her name over and over again. I watched as she closed her eyes and I could feel an electricity in the room.

"Dimitri, when I say now I need you to remove the stake from her chest. Can you do that?" Vasilisa asked staring at me with fear and worry in her eyes.

I nodded yes and gently placed Rose back on the ground. I had my hand around the stake and Vasilisa had her hands hovering near mine.

"Now!" Vasilisa exclaimed.

I removed the stake quickly and as the blood rushed out, Vasilisa shoved her hands over the wound and closed her eyes again. Again I felt the electricity in the room as I watched Vasilisa's face tighten. The paleness of Rose's skin began to turn back to the color of life and I fell forward when I heard her gasp for air. Vasilisa fell backwards and Christian was right there to catch her. Guardians swarmed in and I saw Helen and Nathan among them. Both of them came to my side and helped me to my feet as I watched Rose get put on a stretcher. It wasn't until they hooked up the monitor that checks your pulse that I believed that she came back. I heard the beep, beep, beep of her heart loud and clear but one of the guardians said it was barely there and that they needed to get her to the hospital immediately. They lifted her up and ran her out of the room as I ran along side them holding Rose's hand praying to God that I wouldn't lose her.

What happened afterwards turned into a blur. Once we got the hospital, they instructed me to let her go so they could take her into the operating room. Lissa had stopped the bleeding momentarily but it started again when we arrived inside of the hospital. Rose's blood was everywhere I looked and it was all I saw when they wheeled her into the operating room. I sat on the bench right next to the doors they went through. I clutched my hands together, bowed my head and began praying to God for a miracle. I didn't realize I was shaking till a second set of hands grabbed mine and I looked up to see Helen giving me a sad smile.

"She's going to be okay Dimitri. Remember, Rose is strong. I don't know what made her do this but there had to be a reason. She isn't the type of person to do things randomly. She wouldn't jeopardize everything she has if it didn't mean something," Helen said.

I nodded in agreement and lowered my head again to go back to praying. Time went by so slowly that I eventually lost track of it all. I don't know how much time passed but eventually one of the doctors came out of the doors and approached us. He had a stern look on his face and he looked back and forth between me and Vasilisa.

"She survived. She's out of danger now. She will require lots of rest but, she will make it through," he said.

Vasilisa fell to her knees and cried tears of joy as I stood there in shock as joy and relief flooded me. The doctor told us it'll be a little while before we could see her but that when she was ready to have visitors he would come get us. I sat back down in the chair I've been sitting in this entire time I leaned back, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I pictured Rose lying next to me in our bed. Her face so relaxed that her mouth is slightly opened and her face looks completely tranquil. I always tried to wake up before her so I could just take her in. The smell of her shampoo, the smell of the little amount of perfume she puts on that smells like lavender, the softness of her fingers and the toughness of her palms. Laying there next to her with me arm around her waist as I drew small circles into her lower back with my fingertips, was the happiest moments of my life. I thought that this would never happen once I returned to being a dhampir after being a strigoi. I never thought that I could have Rose back. Yet she never stopped fighting for me. Even when I hurt her and tried to push her away, she kept being there and looking at me with nothing but love in her eyes. She never left me even though I made her believe that I had left her. She fought for so long to save me when I was strigoi and now she was fighting again for her life and there's nothing I can do. It's just like when she got shot all over again. I was completely helpless then and I am completely helpless now.

I remained lost in my thoughts until the doctor came back and told us we could see Rose. We traveled together and when we reached her room we paused in front of the door before entering. Rose was on the bed with tubes coming out of her from every direction. She had a mask on her face, a tube coming out of her chest, a tube connected to her hand that linked up to a bag next to her, wires that poked out from under her gown that were all along her chest. I stopped at the entrance of the door as I took her in. I wasn't prepared to see her like this and seeing her now is tearing me apart. I knew she would be okay but as I look at her now I wonder why she did it and was it worth it?

Vasilisa walked up beside her bed and the hum of electricity in the room told me that she was using spirit to heal Rose's injuries. The doctor stood next to Vasilisa and watched in awe as the color of Rose's skin began to turn back to normal and when her eyes started to flutter. The doctor barked out orders to his coworkers to take the tube out her chest and disconnect the other tubes and wires from her. Vasilisa stayed right there next to her holding her hand, her eyes closed as she concentrated on healing Rose. After everything was removed, Rose began to move and surprised us all when she sat up gasping. She looked around the room until her eyes found mine. Her eyes widened as she saw the tears falling down my face as I held my hand to my mouth to quiet the sobs that were escaping me. She smiled a small smile and said, "Hey comrade, I'm back."

Rose

When I decided to take this risk, I never thought of what this would do to Dimitri. As I sat up in the bed, I found him in the room and was shocked to what I saw. Dimitri is not a crier. Seeing him cry is as rare as seeing a moroi and human relationship. It's not something that happens often. Yet, there he was crying with a hand held over his mouth and his body visibly shaking. Seeing him like that made me feel like the stupidest person ever. Sure, I did what I did to become shadow kissed to Lissa again but I didn't think it would hurt Dimitri like this. I never thought that my actions would cause him to end up like this. But here he was sobbing with nothing but relief in his eyes. How long have I been out? How long was Dimitri suffering about not knowing what was happening to me? This is the second time that I have been hurt and there was nothing Dimitri could do to help me.

I couldn't stand to see him like this. I wanted to reassure him that everything was going to be okay, that I was going to be okay. I smiled a small smile and said, "Hey comrade, I'm back." He had to lean against the wall to prevent him from falling to the ground. Helen and Nathan were right there next to Dimitri and they grabbed his arms to help him stay standing. I saw Helen whisper something to Dimitri and he nodded to her agreeing with whatever she was saying. He wiped his eyes and stood up straight never losing eye contact with me the entire time.

_You really scared us Rose. I thought that we were really going to lose you this time. I thought it was all over and yet again you defy death and come back to us._

I turned immediately to Lissa as a sad smile crossed her face. The bond was back and Lissa could tell that it was back. It was overwhelming to have her emotions, her thoughts and her fears all slamming into me at the same time. It's been so long since we had the bond that I forgot how tough it is to manage it and keep myself from going crazy. But my planned worked. The bond was back and I could feel the large amounts of darkness that surrounded Lissa and her mind. I closed my eyes and began pulling the darkness from her into me just like I used to. I was able to pull some before my entire body started shaking from the side affects of the darkness. I realized it was going to take time before I could pull as much as I used to but at least I will be able to pull some.

Shock crossed Lissa's face followed by sadness and she seemed to realize why I did what I did. She confirmed it when she said, "You did this to become shadow kissed again didn't you Rose?"

I looked straight into her jade green eyes and nodded. She shook her head, stood up and walked out as tears were streaming down her face. All the guardians in the room followed her leaving me and Dimitri alone. Dimitri sat in the chair that Lissa was sitting in and took my hand in his. He squeezed my hand with both of his and hunched over, his hair covering his face. I felt him kissing my hand and then I felt wet drops on my hand. I realized he was crying and sadness plagued me. I leaned over and touched the top of his head with my other hand. I pet his hair as I felt his body shake from sobbing. I could hear almost like whimpers escape him and the sadness I felt grew into depression. I had done this to him and I am the reason the strong, reliable Dimitri was now hunched over and sobbing.

After some time passed he sat up and pulled me into him to kiss me. His lips were wet from the tears he shed and he kissed me with such longing and relief. He kissed me as if it was the first time we ever kissed. He pulled back and kissed me on my forehead and cheek before climbing into bed next to me. I moved over so we could lay there together in the bed. We laid on our sides so we could face each other and look the other in the eye. He brought up his hand and stroked my cheek as if he couldn't believe that I was alive.

"You really did all of this for her didn't you? You weren't kidding when you said you wanted to become shadow kissed again were you?" he asked with exhaustion in his voice.

"Yes, it was for her. I couldn't stand seeing her continually falling apart knowing that there was something I could do about it. I knew it would be a risk a but I had to take it. I had to try. If there was a chance that I could do anything to help her then I was going to take it. I'm her guardian and it's my job to protect her from anything and everything. This is something only I could do and I had to do it." I said.

"There were other ways you could have helped her Roza. This wasn't the only way. Do you have any idea what this did to me? Do you understand what it would do to me when I walked in to see you on the ground with blood all around you and a stake in your heart? Do you understand how much it killed me to sit in that waiting room hoping and praying that the doctor would come out and tell me that you would be okay? This killed me Rose. I thought I had lost you forever and I honestly didn't think I could go on without you. You mean everything to me. You are my light and my salvation and I am lost without you. I need you Rose. I need you to stay alive because without you, I won't be myself anymore." He said with fierceness.

I sat there in silence after he spoke. He was right: I didn't think how much this would hurt Dimitri. I just had the goal of helping Lissa in mind and I didn't stop to take him into consideration. I closed my eyes and tried not to cry as regret and anger come over me. I felt Dimitri's hand whipping something under my eye only to realize I had begun crying. I told those damn tears to not come out and yet here they are flowing out of me like a fucking waterfall. I leaned forward and buried my head in Dimitri's chest as I began to sob. I kept repeating "I'm sorry" to him over and over again as I screamed in agony into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to him and I felt him kissing the top of me head and stroking my hair. When I quieted down I laid there in his arms just focusing on how much he loves me and how much I love him.

"Roza?" he asked.

"Yes?" I said.

He pulled back to look me in the eyes once more with a smile on his face. He put both hands on either side of my face and said, "Lets get married."


End file.
